I found a list of new years resolutions that I made January 24, 2008. This was nearly two and a half years ago and it makes me laugh to read over it. I wrote these with such a strong desire to do them but not actually believing that I could. I have now accomplished all of these and it makes me really sad to think about where I was at in my life two and a half years ago. I was so depressed and felt stuck. I honestly believed that the rest of my life would be like that. I am so happy to have found that wasn't true.

I now love making new friends. I can communicate better than ever before. I am in school and know what I want out of life. I have good friends and family in my life who do not bring me down. I am HAPPY. I lost weight(just because I went off of birth control though, lol).

The resolutions I made:
1. I will be more outgoing, not be afraid to meet new people, not be afraid to communicate and tell people what I really am thinking, not be afraid to be me!



2. I will accomplish something big, weather it be getting back into school, learning something new or just figuring out what I'm going to do with my life.


3. I will be strong, you will not pull me down any longer. 'You' being people who have made me hurt, cry or feel bad. I've spent too much of my life feeling bad, and I'm done. If you want to be a crappy person, then by all means do it on your own time becaue I am too busy to be burdened with you. And if you push me down, I will get up and push you down even harder.


4. I will be happy! I use to be such a happy person and I miss that. I may seem happy on the outside, but it's just a show. I will be happy on the inside as well from now on. I will also surround myself with happy people, so happy people, let's be happy together!


5. I will loose 5 pounds and get in shape on my own terms.

The one who makes me laugh

The last week has brought on a lot of new changes. I finally got a new job after searching since January, though I'm definitely still on the job hunt. I doubt I will make it through the week without flushing a phone down the toilet or karate chopping my ears off. I also managed to talk this boy into being my boyfriend. How I was able to do that I will never know because he is simply Amazing. He truly is the dorkiest person I know, which is why I like him so much. When I'm with him I literally cannot stop laughing. He has such a great outlook on life and is so fun to be around. I could go on about what I like about him but I wont. There's about a million things I like about this boy and only one thing I don't. He lives an hour and a half away. I always swore I would never do the long distance thing yet here I am doing it. I even debated giving up something that makes me so happy over an hour and a half drive. It sounds ridiculous when put that way and well it is just that, ridiculous. Once that realization hit me I decided that what I want more than anything else is to just be happy. Brian makes me happy so therefore not being with him would be stupid on my part. I really have no idea what is going to happen with Brian but I hope for good things. That is all the exciting news I have for now. p.s. I may never post another blog again because I will most likely have stabbed my eyes out at work tomorrow. I'm literally dreading it.

excitement fills the air

Over the last few weeks I have had a mixture of feelings towards my life and where I was going with it. I have been mostly worried and scared. I have a hard time choosing what I want in life because I'm so afraid of making the wrong choice and having to wonder what would have happened if I only... In this precise moment(hence my blogging at midnight) I do not feel afraid. I know what I want, with certain things, more than I have known so fully in such a long time. I am not worried, I am excited, I am happy, I am so thrilled that I can't keep it to myself. I'm about to make a decision that could possibly (and hopefully) change my life a great deal. For once I am not afraid that this could be a poor decision that could just end up hurting me in the future. I don't care about fear anymore. I just want to be happy and this makes me so happy that I'm going for it. I'm about to jump in blindly because I know that my Heavenly Father will guide me through this. So life get ready because this is happening. 

Fear Has No Place Here

Fear, something we are faced with everyday. Fear is not something that comes from God so why do we so often let it takeover our lives.

I am constantly worrying and fearing about life, things that are to come, and things that have already happened. If I had enough faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in our Heavenly Father I wouldn't have such fears.

“If ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30). As I interpret this in my own life, with where I amcurrently at, it's telling me that if I am preparing myself, keeping the commandments and doing what's right to the best of my ability then I have no reason to fear about such inconsequential things. I run around living my life in fear rather than in faith.

I have no reason to fear the little things that I do. I have a new goal to strengthen my faith. The more my faith grows the more the fears will go away.

I also am going to start making up my own mind. I am very impressionable, if someone tells me their opinion on something I start to believe it as being my own. I hate making decisions, especially the bigs ones that will impact my life, but I'm going to start making them. I know where I want my life to go, I know the direction and path I should be on. As long as I stick to that path my decisions will come easily. 

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Favorite Feelings

My Absolute Favorite Feelings


That first moment when your head hits the pillow and you know you've made it through another day.


Feeling the spirit burn within you


Being Twitterpated


having a full stomach, not overly full of course


getting hyper with your friends


taking a walk on a sunny day


holding a new born baby


being content
warning the following is very sappy, read at your own risk...
relationship firsts - the first time you hold hands - the first time you have a tickle fight just so you can get closer to each other - that first time when the world pauses, he gives you that "I'm going to kiss you" look, and then he leans in and kisses you - the first time you look deep into each others eyes and know what you're feeling but you're too afraid to say it - the first time you actually say it - and so on....


when your roller coaster reaches the top of the tracks, right before it goes down, that feeling you get when you wonder what you've gotten yourself into


playing with baby animals


when your belly tickles while you're swinging


HUGS!! Especially those really good ones!