as high as a kite or stuck in a rut

Throughout my life I seem to go through phases that continually repeat themselves. I'm either as high as a kite, loving every moment of life, so happy all of the time and wanting to share this happiness with the world(which is where I have been the past few months). Or....I'm stuck, no more like lodged, in a rut. I'm not meaning the mammalian reproduction version of "rut", but more so as a depression or groove worn into a road or path. I let myself feel down for absolutely no reason. Instead of thinking about the amazing things in my life I let my mind dwell on the not-so-great.

...I have a very crappy job...true. School is starting up again in less than a month and I'm once again having to take out a loan to pay for it...sad but very true. I have to ask permission to do basically anything...depressingly true. I've stopped trying to comprehend my scripture reading and am just going through the motions of getting my reading done and I've also been skipping out on institute and other church activities so I feel friendless...pathetically true... 

There is no one to blame for any of this but myself. I let myself become lame and lazy. Only I am capable of fixing this by getting off my butt and doing something about it. Let's start with the positive in my life. I could very easily be out of Logan finally and living in Michigan but there's one reason basically that has kept me from doing so. Of course it all comes down to a boy. Not just any boy either. This boy treats me better than anyone has ever treated me before. He makes me laugh, he brings me flowers, he tells me I'm beautiful. When I'm with him nothing else even matters. I have a crappy job but he makes me forget that. I'm kind of dreading school starting but he makes me excited to go and learn. He is just amazing, I really don't know what to do with this boy whose made me completely fall for him, and way too fast might I add. I wish someone would just tell me what to do. I'm tired of making decisions for myself, lol.

So once again it seems I'm all happy and giddy just thinking about this boy. Boys are so dumb, why are they constantly having to make us so miserably happy. Ok, I'm done writing for now. What have I accomplished with this blog....I don't know, lol!!! :)